Nov 25, 2014

Am I an 'expat' fraud?

I have been quiet for some time, as I am not really sure where I fall into on the the different blogger categories. Am I a local blogger? An expat blogger? I am definitely not one of those 'it' fashion, or cooking bloggers. So I have remained silent in hopes of having an 'aha' moment.

I was added a while back to a Facebook group for mulitcultural bloggers, where the wives (or husbands) are a different nationality from their spouse, and they made the big move to their spouses home country. It is really facinating to watch the different mixes, different languages at play, and the different clashes of traditions. And to be honest, these women are professional, I mean their blogs are amazing, they put time into it, share beautiful snapshots of their respective lives, and really make you feel like you are joining them on their adventures in a new land. And amazingly yet although we are all different (on different levels within the sacred bloggerdom hierarchy- like really different, there is that same basic feel to how our lives generally are. A stranger in a strange place trying to find their little corner in the world to make home. I love it.

Admittedly, I have been sitting back quietly, watching as they interact with one another, as they discuss their day to day dealings, and I can't help but thing, Dude I am a fraud! I shouldn't be here. I am peaking into the lives of these people i have no right to be part of. I am in Saudi, I've been here 10 years, I've got my entire maternal family from here- so yeah a halfie, so I am kinda local right? Well the reality is I am not. I'm a Canuck! A Canadian, living in Saudi with her Saudi hubby, and her Saudi kids. I never will be a full local. I will always be the foreigner, I will always be the expat who married into the family. Never will I be described as my mothers daughter, the daughter of a Saudi National female. It's OK, I am coming to terms with it, but seriously, I still haven't found my little area. I find I am not expat enough to be seen as a pure expat, or local enough to be local. It's not fun! I don't want to be the bloggers that bash the country they call home for ratings, because through it all, its a part of me, a part of my children, and a part of my future. I'll just need to fully come to terms that I am a local expat? lol. Is that a real thing? Most probably yes, especially after the scholarship kids return home from studying abroad, unable to fully go back to the culture they left, but not having embraced their new culture of wherever they studied fully. I think I need to stop trying to categorise myself, and ignore this feeling of being a fraud. Anyhoo,  I shall wear my expat (or am I a Saudi immigrant.. lol) hat with pride, and go back to uncategorised blogging about my day to day ramblings or rants, hoping that my thoughts may speak to someone out there. That on some level someone may think, 'dude, this lady has some kind of wisdom, (or dare I say idiotic musings) to share with the world!'

Have a wonderful day!

PS- As a follow up to my last blog, where I was worried about how my kids would do in an all Arabic school, they are doing great- Thank God- in the Arabic school, and I am one proud mama! They are learning, they are actually keeping up with their native Arabic speaking classmates, they have gotten trophies and awards, and have made friends with the students and teachers (and yes- even the administration) of the school alike. I am happy with my change.



2 comments:

  1. I guess it's in our nature as human being to "belong" to this group or that... and so you have in short some human dilemma ..
    I guess being a human is more than enough :)

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    Replies
    1. You make a good point, we are all human after all, and I shall just write from a human perspective, and hope other humans wil be able to accept me for the confused old lady I have become. :) Nice hearing from you Wafa. Have a wonderful day <3

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