Today I had one of those days where you wish you could just hide under a rock and pray for the day to end without any casualties. I have been stressed out for a while now, for reasons that after really thinking about it, weren't really too important. Today's episode in the DAY of my life was of a whole new caliber.
I went out with one of my friends to take the kids to go out and play. We usually go to those huge jungle gyms they have in Malls, give in our payment, and just enjoy a couple of hours of letting the kids go free without worrying about losing them. The plus side is we get to chit chat about adult things while the kids are having all the fun in the world safely. Anyway, today, while the kids were playing, the man came to me and made a comment about how the kids could only pay for 30 minutes, and he showed me a sign. Granted, he was right. But I didn't get it, the place was empty, and my friend and I have been bringing the kids here to play several days a week without ever having any issues arise. That started to get me a little annoyed, and then at one point my 2 year old went a little too high, and I could not find him. I frantically climbed the hurdles, and made my way up, the guy came to me and told me I was not allowed up. I looked at him point blank and told him there was no way he would stop me as my baby was up there, and was crying. He mumbled something, and I kept going up. The issue is, I am usually very good at following rules, but after coming here so much, and seeing so much of the great customer service we got from the other workers. this one rubbed me the wrong way. He then mentioned something about it being prayer time, and that we had to leave. Again, that had never been a problem- prayers came and went without anyone being asked to leave often. So I quickly responded that as a women I did not have to go pray at the masjid, but he as a man should make his way to the masjid instead of bothering me and my children- yes I got a bit rude- but he had it coming! At that point I summoned my kids, my friend summoned hers, and we were getting ready to leave. I noticed the man was trying to explain himself to my friends driver, as he obviously didn't want to have to explain himself to me. I think he may have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed- I think I did as well.
We made our way to the grocery store inside the mall, and as we were headed there, my son (middle one) kept running way ahead of me. I begged and pleaded... I tried to be the quiet yet stern mother, I spoke to him in both English and Arabic- in hopes that hearing the Arabic may make him see how serious I was and then I went on to screaming like a mad women- with absolutely no effect on his behavior. He kept dashing away, and being more daring. He drove me nuts.My son was one of THOSE kids you saw out and about, The kids that you would either judge or feel absolutely sorry for the mother. Once it was time to get into the grocery store I tried to have him sit in the shopping cart, and he ran away yet again. At this point my eyes started to tear up, and I was sure I was just gonna drop to the floor and cry my heart out. I was frustrated. I was angry. I was annoyed. I was sad that my little boy would keep driving me up the wall. As I have mentioned countless times, my daughter spoiled me, she listened. my daughter knew what i was saying with a certain look I gave her. She made parenting ultra easy, and I thought it was all easy peezy at that point. But oh boy was I wrong. Thank GOD my friend intervened, and had my son jump into her shopping cart along with her son, and she gave me the chance to pick up whatever I needed, as she kept my son busy. Seriously- GOD BLESS HER. I was ready to throw in the towel, and I think she noticed. Once we finished in the grocery store we made our way to the car park in the basement. My daring son, yet again made a mad dash, but this time he made a mad dash for the parking lot. I asked my friend to watch my youngest in his stroller, and I ran after my son. Imagine a women in Riyadh, clad in an abaya, shamelessly screaming and running after her son in a parking lot. Embarrassing! An old man tried to intervene, but my little boy slipped away from him as well. My friends driver tried to get him, and this slippery little kid was out of our reach. The marble floor (why the floors are marble are BEYOND me) was making my task even harder. I nearly slipped a few times. But I finally let completely lose, and ran like runner and caught him within seconds. I wanted to cry. I wanted to yell. I had this mix of emotions. That easy job of parenting wasn't so easy- I was miserably failing! How does a nearly 4 year old boy do this? How does he have so much power on me to bring the demons out in me. I love him to pieces, but something has got to give. I need this to all stop. I need him to listen. Can grounding him work now? Like seriously grounding. No iPad or tablets, no TV? no toys? For a moment, I even told my friend I needed to rent an actor to pretend to run off with my son on one of his crazy fearless dashes. Maybe that make him understand what I was so worried about. I vowed NEVER to leave his monkey harness at home again. It did keep him safe!
Anyways, once I got home, I walked through the door and just broke down in tears, my husband was there, and I told him to take HIS kids upstairs for a nap. I was done. I was fasting. I was tired. I seriously have not felt so helpless in such a long time. That was my day, I failed miserably, and I hope that tomorrow brings on a better day. I seriously need it- not just for my sanity, but for my little ones as well.
Jul 22, 2013