May 8, 2013

Left unsaid...

What do you do when you have so much left to say to someone, but they are no longer with us? It is Torture, Guilt, and Pain till Kingdom come!


  1. After my little brother died I found myself wanting to tell him I loved him so badly. It's not that I didn't when he was alive- because I did often, but I just missed letting that emotion out. I started saying it aloud. My husband thought it was crazy at first, slowly he realized (and I realized) it made me feel so much better. When I miss him, I just say it. I don't hold back. You shouldn't hold back either. Part of healing, I believe, is allowing yourself little things to hold on to whether they are realistic or not. Write letters, yell their name, quietly whisper I love you before you sleep. That person may not be present but for you they just as might very well be.

  2. Hello Bridgette, Firstly I would like to say sorry for the loss of your brother. Losing a loved one can never be easy, and your advise is great. I do have a lot bottled up in me, and perhaps some sort of release can help me through all this. I have thought or writing a personal journal as I am currently going through 2 suitcases full of my fathers life journals. Just reading them gives me inside look into how his life was, and understanding him a bit more. Again, thank you for your advise, I shall try it out, but I am pretty sure my husband will not be as understanding as yours may be, so I will say it in my head. And do it outloud when he isn't around. My kids do go repeat this daily "Enshallah (God willing) GrandPa will go to heaven"... which makes me smile.

  3. Totally just deleted my comment, whoops! Do what makes you feel better, don't worry about your husband or anyone else- I always believe we live for ourselves (and our children to some extent haha) and if it heals you, it's what you need! It's about finding that happy place again. Luckily my husband is so used to dealing with a whole lot of crazy (lost my brother while I was pregnant, big bunch of hormones or what!). I just relate to your posts so much (actually a lot of them). Wow! It's amazing that you have those journals and that insight into your father's life, it's probably very emotional but so valuable! My brother was only 18 and we're still uncovering many little mysteries about him. May Allah swt help us heal (never fully, that's for sure).

    1. I HATE when that happens. But you are right, at times its important to work on yourself.. what was that saying a gain.. A Happy wife is a Happy life. SO yeah, I think I need to do whatever will help me with all this enshallah.

      As for your brother sub7anallah that is very young.. Allah yr7amo... and to have it happen while u were pregnant, that must have been extremely hard :( Il7amdlilah you were able to go through the healing process at your own pace... which is something that may go on for a lifetime to come. Your strength is amazing mashallah! *Hugs*


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