That was my Facebook status today. I have been thinking a lot of what I wanted to accomplish when I was younger. I had so many goals. I was very out spoken. Knew what was going on around the world... was part of debates.. discussions.. and yes even protests (I studied Political Science and Sociology @ Uni)... I was at the forefront of many causes, and was very vocal about what I believed in. When I came here, things changed. I was taken out of my element, and taken to a society where things were not as open. People generally did not discuss their OWN views on politics. Those who do discuss politics, usually do in the privacy of own home. So as the years went on, I grew more detached from my ideas, I am still very passionate about what I believe in, but I am no longer the leader I wanted to become. Sometimes I look at the younger generation through eyes of hope, hoping that society allows them to be themselves, instead of conforming to what society thinks they should. I will admit that I was never a feminist, as I felt many of the issues went above and beyond what I thought was important. But here in Saudi, things changed.. my rosy coloured glasses were taken off, and reality hit me- things were different now. When I was sitting with other females, the discussions went from shopping excursions in different countries, to the latest must have hand bag, the latest music video(Yes you will even find older ladies passionately talking about such trivial matters), or the latest vacation they went to and the things they bought while there. I constantly found myself leaning towards and listening in on the 'Mens' discussions, and found myself joining them and completely leaving the prior group.
Anyway.. at the end of the day... if I can give one piece of advise to any of the wives that will be coming here to Saudi. Be yourself, do not lose your identity. Please keep your brain working, do not allow society to drain you. Life here is great, but you can always enhance the experience here by NOT losing yourself. Whatever your passion is, do not eave it behind in your home country. Things are drastically different now, but remembering to bring your WHOLE self on that plane here, will allow you to life your life to the fullest. And remember, if you converted/reverted to Islam, it does not mean you need to change who you are... it simply means trying to become a better version of who you already are. Do NOT lose yourself!
PS- Don't get me wrong, I love traveling and I love fashion... just need some intellectual conversations at times :)
|Picture taken from a plane window a few years ago|