Feb 28, 2012

Alone...

Source


I have been trying very hard for the last little while to remain positive, smile, and be happy. burying any ill thought I have deep down where I was hoping they would get lost. Everyone once in a while, I feel it creeping back up, and I swallow hard at an attempt to force it out of my life again. How can someone feel so lost and alone? I mean truly alone. I feel like I am drowning at times, I feel like I must keep this smile plastered on my face for those that are down around me. I have never been good at speaking about my inner thoughts to anyone, I have always been one to lose myself in a book, allowing the world around me to disappear momentarily. But the problem is, after all that, and I am back out of la-la land... I feel this overwhelming urge to just sit and cry. How selfish is this of me? I have 3 kids 4 and under to take care of. Who look up to me for everything. How can a mother feel so down without the kids feeling it? I am trying so hard, but sometimes I need a breather, I need to just sit and cry. I miss my mom, I miss my family. It is times like this when I wish I had my family here with me... to be there for my kids. To drop in and check in on the kids when they are sick, just because they care. To drop in and check on me because they care. This is one of the things I miss the most being here, and far away from my family. Anyway, there is no sense in writing anymore, I will wipe this tear, wash my face, and go back to my kids..... 



12 comments:

  1. i know what you mean. and u r not alone.being away from family is really really hard......and always be on alert is even harder....pray is all i can say.....ALLah will help you. this is what i do. or have a crying session in the middle of the night.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment..You are right.. praying is the way... I hoe things get easier for you yoo <3

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  2. That's so sad. You need a hug and some good friends, maybe? Like really close and trustworthy.

    Take care, inshallah this loneliness will go away and your'll heart will be filled with ease and happiness.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment.. enshallah it will pass... I just get a bit emotional at times... thank you again for your comment <3

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  3. May Allah swt shower you with His blessings, comfort and love, and help you find contentment and joy, ameen.
    Everyone has the right to feel a certain way. If you are feeling down, it's better to process it and really go through it than to try to hide it, because it's not going to go away without giving proper attention to it. Your body and mind are trying to tell you something, and they deserve to be listened to. You don't have to hide just because you are a mother.
    Big hug!

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    1. Thank you for your comment dear. I had a cry fest the other night, and I ust admit it felt great! The kids were asleep... my husband was out with friends.. and I just let it all go. Thank you again.

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  4. Don't know what to say but I honestly understand how you feels, my dear. And you are in my prayer .

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  5. there's nothing like a good cry, maybe one night after the kids are asleep you can take a nice long, hot bath and let it out. what you're feeling is valid, so don't beat yourself up about feeling sad.

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    1. Thank you hon for your comment... I truly appreciate it <3 I had that cry fest a couple of nights ago.. it felt nice.

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  6. i am sorry you feel this way,i know riyadh can be frustrating at times.

    :(

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    1. Thank you for passing by Dento... I appreciate your comment.

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