Dec 4, 2011

The Terrible Twos really do exist!

I love my children... I really, Really, REALLY do! They have brought in so much happiness to my life... they have shown me that there is more to life then meets the eye.

The Day I had my first child, my life had changed. My daughter was such an adorable little baby, so sweet, so peaceful, and so quiet. She was good (and still is) great at listening to me. Now at 4 she actually knows how to read my eyes, and can see what I am telling her. She knows what looks means 'don't you dare', she knows what look means 'go ahead', and many other gestures with different meanings. My dear daughter made it all so easy. I used to hear about the whole terrible 2 think and always thought to myself; those parents really don't know how to parent.. I should go give them a lesson or two.

Well a couple of years down the line... I am in desperate need of help and advise. I scour through article after article on how to deal with my now terrible 2 son. At times he has me in disbelief.. I ask myself, did he just do that? He is truly a sweet little kid (I guess I am biased).... but there are those times where he just locks his head up and throws out the keys. Somehow the word NO becomes a YES. Sit means stand up. Stop means go. (You get the point). I keep telling myself, he is just a kid, it will pass, but what if it doesn't? I have seen kids act worst then him and much older?  can sit here and blame cousins and what not for the learnt behaviours. But that will surely do no good. I am at a loss folks, I need help with my baby boy. I have been told often, boys will be boys. But what if I want a little boy that will listen to what he is told? I think another problem we have in my household is the different types of parenting. My husband is the smack him one type, and I am the talk to him type. My husband keeps telling me to just smack him, and he will listen... (I once actually did... and I felt like a shithead for a while). I don't believe beating him into submission will help, my talking is surely not helping, and the million and one websites that promise me it will all be over soon have given me no solace.

My son playing outside <3


Till then, I will try as many methods as I can google, and hoping that one day I will find that Magic Jackpot winner, as I am truly tired. I look at my 6 month old son now, and fear what is in store for me... 

PS- I promise not to have the holier than thou attitude again... lesson learned!




12 comments:

  1. Welcome welcome welcome to my world! First off, all three of my kids (first born less so) went through the terrible twos. My youngest is in the midst of it now. The fact that you are worried about it means that inshallah you will have a handle on it. The trick, I find, is consistency. My son now (amongst many many other things) is throwing stuff. When he throws something he now looks at me and frowns so that I know he meant to be naughty. So what I do is go down to his level, look him in the eye and say "No! We do not throw" and then take the thing he threw away. He still throws but experience has taught me when he gets bored of loosing his toys and books because of throwing them he will stop. But you can't give up, you can't laugh about it and you can't let it go. Cause thats how the terrible two's turn into horrible children.
    Another problem we are having is he is pinching (yes... pinching... at least it's not biting) He made the mistake of pinching my 4 year old daughter who then pinched him back! I doubt he'll pinch her again. The funny part is that I wrote a post about that I am posting in a few days lol.

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  2. I am going crazy.. I kid you not.. I feel like my day is one yelling battle after another.. I am DRAINED :( I miss my little fairytale days... when my main issues were my daughter not eating her food... :s I also have an issue with him trying to hit his brother... the worst part is.. he is not trying to hurt him (you can see by his face).. and is actually laughing and smiling with his brother (funny enough 3boodi smiles back as he is getting hit in the face).... madri what to do... I SERIOUSLY need Nanny 911... BACK.. I just had to scream at him again.. I know its not working... but I am at my whits end... and I hate when people tell me he will grow out of... I want my sanity to remain :(

    *Exhale*

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  3. May God help us mothers.. I am not sure how I will control myself when he one day grows the balls to tell its his life!!! I need to call my mom now and tell her i love her!

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  4. i am still in heaven,my daughter is becoming two in two days,and my son is one but i cant tell we have alot of work ahead of us.
    we are baby proofing the house,i pretty much nailed everything to the roof lol cos other wise they will reach it,and Obie,being the boy he is,he is in a competition with the vacuum everything that comes to his hand ends up in his mouth,i am going to start xray his diapers for lost and found LOL.

    i really wish i can be of help,but i think,if he found a physical outlet,like a playground or a pool where it can drain his energy,it will help me become abit more relaxed,but..thats only somthing that popped in my mind and its not necessarily gonna work,best of luck.

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  5. hitting and yelling doesnt solve it. been there done that. limit the tv and highfructose in foods, if you feed that. such as hard candies or soda. let him play with pots and a wooden spoon in the kitchen while you cook and clean through the day. this gives him an oporttunity to make noise and bang on something...it worked for my cousin. she turned her wild child into a 3yr old rockstar..lol. dont forget to take pics of him. good luck

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  6. Asalam Alaykum, I really wish I had some advice but I am in the same boat. You now my son has been so high strung since he was born it seems. He was an ultra fussy baby that always cried. We could never go anywhere. I found myself so depressed and crying always. He never really listened to me and did all sorts of things. He would throw the worse tantrums ever anywhere we would go, hit, scream, spit food and juice you name it. This summer hr turned 4 and he has calmed down A LOT thank God. But I still have some issues with him as he does not ever want to listen to me and sometimes I get so tired of yelling or just talking I just want to cry.

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  7. Masha'allah.. Dento.. Happy birthday to your little girl enshallah.. oghbal el 100! ahh.. the baby proofing.. people think I am nuts... I have all the sockets covered with those cover things... the stairs all have gates.... and anything else I can do is done to ensure all is well.. and with all that.. half the time I am still not sure what else my son will get into.. lol ALlah yster! You are right though.. my son LOVES attention.. if I keep him having fun and doing things.. he is content.. but masha'allahhe is like an energizer bunny.. Mara when I was in Dubai.. I had my sister and my 2 brothers take care of him for about 1 1/2 hours while I got my hair done.. I came back to them.. and they were in shock.. they were like HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU KEEP UP WITH HIM.. lol.. they have given him the name Tasmanian Devil :D I do appreciate your comment though.. thank you!

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  8. Anonymous.. I agree with you.. hitting and yelling would only escalate the problems.. and I really don't want it to :/ sometimes I just don't know if I will ever be good enough.. I doubt myself as a good mom.. and think how unlucky my kids r to have me! arghh! I tried to pots thing today... it worked for all of 2 minutes... and when he realised it was something I wanted him to do.. lol.. he stopped and wanted to do something else! I kid you not.. he wants to do everything I don't want him to do! DO you think reverse psychology would work on him? I tell him no (when i mean yes?) Allah yster... anyway thank you very much for the comment!

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  9. Noor.. I feel your pain... but I am glad he is calming down! I have seen other kids start to calm down at around the 4 year mark... so do I have a couple of more years of craziness b4 all this is over? Good God I hope I find the remedy quick.. I need to be smarter then him (and he is quite the genius.. lol)... Thank you for the comment my dear! And we really MUST make plans!!!

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  10. salam alaki sis patience sis he will pass this phase terrible twos is a very demanding selfish time so you have to have sabr sis turn to Allah ask His assistance and He will aid you make lots of dua he probably feels jealous of the baby just try and invove him Insha Allah may Allah ease your affairs I have 7 kids my eldest is 19 and it seems terrible teens is just like terrible twos! lol!

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  11. Oh trust me i feel for you! My four year old taught me to expect the unexpected!! She drove me crazy from day one and still does ,, the sad thing is she also managed to turn my sweet boy (who was born a sweet easy baby) into a little monster now by teaching him all her tricks! I sort of developed a belief that my kids don't exactly belong to the kids books talk about LOL (that was mean I know). Using terms like Bad behavior with a frown and Good behavior with a smile should work but in a LONG time and with a great deal of patience and consistency as the school counselor says! And while your brain is going crazy trying to come up with a way to deal with the craziness happening around you, ignore the scene and start counting or telling yourself he'll grow out of it and this will become a funny story to remember! I do that hehe

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  12. hi i have just started following your blog and really like it :) i would like to say something that my mum told me about the "terrible twos". she studied psychology and she said that the terribles twos signify the change in the child psychologically. it is when the child realises that he doesnt have to do what you tell him to do, and this period is him experimenting with you. her advice was to not get mad and frustrated, but to try and guide the child to the right path. dont react in an angry way but get down to his level and explain why it is wrong. he may still do it but dont think it is him attacking you or that he is uncontrollable, this phase will pass and just try to stay sane for this bit! :)

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