Nov 24, 2010

Trust...

In a perfect world, one can trust anyone. They can trust their neighbour, their classmates, their family, their friends, and just about anyone, because in a perfect world, one human being would not want to willingly hurt another.

But we all know that we live in a place far from perfect, a place where some peoples happiness is solely based on another's grief. A place where one can not trust anyone anymore, because many people have their own twisted agenda to get what they want in life, not really caring about others. As a young girl, I learnt quickly that not all people can be trusted. I learnt that a friend of my uncles who I considered a friend to me, tried to rape me with the guise that only a bad girl would allow someone in their house. He was a family friend, I trusted that he would respect my family, and honour. But that did not happen, thank God nothing happened to me, I was strong enough to kick this fellow out of our house, and out of our lives. I just wish at times that the shame game didn't keep me quiet. I wish I exposed his evil ways, but I didn't want any part in the blame game. At an even younger age (think about 4), I was molested by a family member, that I was entrusted to, that was supposed to take care of, that was supposed to keep me safe, that as a woman you would think should have had the motherly instinct in her, but lest we forget, nobody is to be trusted. I don't know how my post took this direction, but I will allow it to stay that way. It was a nightmare to me for many years, but when I entered my teenage years, the memories came back rushing in. I was mortified, I remember what triggered this memory, but I would rather not mention it as it is of a delicate matter. I remember keeping to myself, but nobody noticed as I was the middle child, and was known to stick with my books and read on my own. When I did build up the courage, it was found out that I was not the only person who suffered in the hands of that person. But guess what? Nothing was done about it. I have longed to confront that person, just so that she would know that she did not get away scotch free. I was disgusted to know that this person was now in charge of caring for her own child. I have always wondered if that little boy, now in his teenage years suffered at the hands of such an evil mother. Again, my parents apologized to me and were saddened that such a thing could happen to me, but nobody confronted her, no one chose to be my advocate. I wonder now, how many people suffer in the hands of family, and its gently swept under the rug, so that outsiders will not know what is happening behind closed doors, and thus shame will not be brought to the family.

Now as a mother, I have the hardest time trusting anyone with my children, I fear that even those I love and cherish the most may take advantage of a child that can not fight or even properly talk back. I know I can not have my child around me 24/7. In the perfect world, I would never have to worry about such evil, but in a time that trust is no longer fully available, what does a parent do? I often wonder how I can teach my children that such things are not appropriate, and that if anyone ever touches them or vice versa it is wrong. My children as still young and innocent, and a part of me wants to keep them that way, to allow them to believe that this world is perfect, that evil does not exist. That all people genuinely care for one another.

I think I have gone too long here, and still can't understand why I even blogged about such a personal matter to me. But I will not hit the delete button I have a sudden urge to, but will allow this to be published.


Nov 21, 2010

A wake up call is needed....

Many have probably heard of the recent torture of maids in the kingdom. There have been two cases this week, both of Indonesian nationals who have rocked the nation. The brutal torture of a maid in Madinah (funnily known historically for having the kindest of people); 23-year-old Sumiati BT Salan Mustapa. She was beaten beyond recognition, and burnt with an iron, has had her lips cut off, and endless other types of torture my stomach cannot even handle.

Sumiati BT Salan Mustapa; Before and after




Source: http://musesephere.blogspot.com/


There is also the other sad incident of a slain Indonesian maid- Kikim Komalasari, 36- found dumped on the road side in Abha, her Sponsors; a Saudi husband and wife, have been arrested for this heinous crime.

The agressors in both cases are evil. I do not blame it on being a Saudi, as I have seen many Saudis that treat their maids with dignity and respect, and that have welcomed them into their homes with compassion. I blame this on sick human beings that have zero respect for others. Sick human beings that have been taught that they are above the law. Sick human beings that show zero regard for those less fortunate, and have sadly welcomed the maids into their homes as they would a new household appliance- sadly the appliance would get more respect in the household then some of these maids. I would like to understand what has pushed these people to commit such horrendous acts. Where did they leave their religion, and what our Prophet (PBUH) has taught us about the treatment of others? Have they just taken whatever suits them and left the rest to rot? It is sad that these sick people are tainting an entire nation and the many wonderful citizens they have. If one is unhappy with their maid, they can just send her home, and hope for a better one to come their way. Why must people resolve to cruel and unusual punishment? I truly believe that these people should be put on public display and should be severely punished. A life for a life should be put in order. Let them be examples of what this countries people, and judicial system will no longer tolerate. Let the fear of what goes around comes around be a reality. No one should be above the law, as no one should be below the law. At the end of the day, we are all humans, and should be justly dealt with, without even the slightest thought of race, nationality or colour. I do hope that for the sake of this great country, justice will be served, and no one gets away with murder or torture.

 
Nov 17, 2010

Excuse me.... Wee :)

Here is a short conversation I had with my daughter this morning;

Her: Mommy is Wee open?
Me: I am not sure dear
Her: Mommy it's closed!
Me: How do you know love?
Her: Daddy closed it!
Me: How do you know daddy closed it?
Her: He told Excuse me to close it!
Me: Do you want me to tell Excuse me to open it for you?
Her: Yes mom, I want to go to wee today.


Transalation of what my daughter REALLY means.. :) 

Wee: Malahi, al3ab,  play place they usually have at malls here. She started calling it this when she was a little over one, it was the first time she was on a slide, and whenever she went down, she would joyfully say, weeeee, and well from then on, anytime she is playing on anything, she calls them all wee, and I love it too much to correct her :D

Excuse me: Anyone who serves people, i.e, Waiters, store clerks, etc. As when I speak to them, I don't say the usual 'Mohammed' everyone here seems to name them, and I tend to say 'Excuse me', so my daughter has figured out that all their names are now.... Excuse me :D


I love the pure innocence of little children... sometimes I wish I could just freeze them at this age for a bit, as I am terribly dreading the teenage years (that for some reason now begins at 8 now!!!!)

ll
Nov 10, 2010

My emotional Roller Coaster

Well, I have found myself on an emotional roller coaster... one second I am happy, the next I hate the world.. lol.. but the truth is.. I really don't hate it... I don't like seeing things in black and white. I would rather add some colour. So to add to my last post, I would like to continue and say not everything in Saudi is negative for women. There are some things that I rather enjoy. It would be unfair of me to paint it all black when there are in fact hues of different colours shining through. Things are changing, King Abdullah has been a great leader, and is truly moving this country to a more positive light (may Allah bless him, and may he live a long and healthy life.. ameen). I have seen change in this country since I first arrived, as my mom has seen change from her youth to today. It may not all be done in a day, but as the saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day. I would like to be present for positive change to come to Saudi, I would love to be here when we drive for instance. I would love to see this country move forward whilst holding on to its in many ways beautiful culture. Anyway, there is not much more to add. I just wanted to be fair, and not only focus on the negative aspects of Saudi society. There is good and bad, just as there is good and bad all over the world. I love this country, it is home. And I pray that one day we will be treated as equals as our great religions has made it.

With Peace, Love and Respect


ll
Nov 9, 2010

The March for Saudi Women...

The March for Saudi Women

Deep seeded frustration ...
Dreams of a brighter future in the distance..
Abhorrence for the life they have been forced into...
Unaware of what life is truly about...
Guarded like a foetus for eternity...
No room to truly blossom to your fullest...
Always reaching out into the mirage of what society has provided...
Listening to lies, and waiting silently...
Fear of speaking out ...
Bringing shame to the family name...
Frustration for what has not become...
How long will the women of Saudi remain silent?
When will the march for freedom begin?

When can I join the March of Freedom for the women of Saudi?
Should we wait to join? or shall we start the march alone.
Will women of this blessed country stand up and march for freedom?
Or will the shame game keep them oblivious, silent and seated?

March for Saudi women !


Driving Rant!

I am in a serious ranting mood today... So let me just say here.. if you don't feel like reading about some rants, you can just skip right on over to the next blissfully happy bloggers blog :)

OK.... so my rant will naturally begin with us women and driving in Saudi. Yes I know, this rant is universal - OK, National as this is the only country in the entire world that says someone can't drive MERELY because they were born with an inny not an outy! If you don't know what I mean... then think a bit, and it should hit you!



 As I sit silently in my husbands car watching as every car that drives by is driven by a man, it could be a husband, or a driver. The cars that have drivers, are usually tinted black so that other drivers can't see the woman folk inside. Don't get me wrong, dark windows have helped me breastfeed my babies without a care in the world.  But what I really can't get into my head, is how in the world it is deemed safer and more permissible in Islam for a women to sit with a NON- related male in her car alone at times (remember when  a man and a women are alone the third person there is the devil...). Yet a women is NOT allowed to drive herself around. Some men (and women) may argue that this is for the safety of the women folk, for surely a women can not take care of herself, and is seen as meat waiting to be devoured by every single man that sees her. I don't believe that is even close to the reason, I believe it is more about Control. Control. Control. Control.

A women can not step out of her house without some man taking her out, whether it is her husband/brother/father/driver/ some random taxi driver. In essence we are to bow down to any man in order to get anything done. It is extremely frustrating, when you see children driving because they were born with that oh so worshipped outy! And a women who has driven around the world is not seen as being fit to be behind the wheel. What bothers me even more is all the rumours that keep circulating claiming that women will be driving in a couple of months, by the end of the year at the very latest.


Saudi Arabia is to lift the ban on women drivers in an attempt to stem a rising suffragette-style movement in the kingdom.

Women in the only country in the world which still bans women from driving want to put their best foot forward – on the accelerator.


I see all this as nothing more then smoke, to keep us women from actually doing something about our position in this male worshipped society. I will clarify, that it has nothing to do with religion and EVERY BLOODY THING to do with men using TRADITION to keep women prisoners psychologically. I am talking from personal experience here, that ever since I have been here, I truly feel like I have lost a bit of myself  every single day. I once used to be a bubbly, fun, outgoing, full of adventure kinda gal. And now, I have a hard time doing anything alone (for the most part because in this lovely country, women are usually not allowed into many places for fear of arousing men by our mere presence). I am sick of people claiming that we are treated like princesses here, because that is not the case, what is the point of being treated like a princess, when you are being treated like a 3 year old one? Last night my daughter told me she wanted to drive, and I told her.. 7abeebti, you are too young, when you're older enshallah. Deep inside I pray that by the time she is of driving age, that she will not be subject to this sexist state we women are forced to live in, I pray that she will be of the new era, where they are allowed to dream, where they are allowed to want a better Saudi without fingers pointing at them and accusing them of hating the country I know we all love.

Here is an article on how the ban is also affecting the men in our family. I do agree with this as well, because due to this moronic ban, our husbands/sons/brothers/ etc must also become our drivers... I know my husband would love it, if I could go out and run a few of the errands without him. I know there is always a driver, but it is simply not the same. Being able to go where ever you want whenever you want is simply not possible even with a driver. The only way out of this rut is for the ban to end, once and for all. And I truly believe that maybe, just maybe the only way it will end is if we as the women of this country, stand up and let our voices be heard. (can you hear the music playing)


Many husbands, brothers and fathers will rejoice if the king lifts a ban on women driving
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — It’s 5 p.m. on a weekend and Faisal Auda is at the wheel of his 2005 bright green Chevy Optra. Two of his five sisters are in the back seat.
They’re on Riyadh’s Ring Road, headed for IKEA. The women’s shopping list includes mirrors, lamps, and bath mats, and since they’ve been aiming to get to the popular store for three months, Sabah, 22, and Nora, 20, are piling up the purchases.


Alright, I think I need to stop right there, I won't even bother to reread what I just wrote, and just have my fingers crossed that my fingers caught up with my brain and that I actually make some sort of sense here.


Take care!

Nov 6, 2010

The diaper change disaster...

I know its been quite a long time, but something happened yesterday that I HAD to blog about.

Do you remember this blog post 'Toilet Fun'.



Picture Source: http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT3XsHKAAltcX7kOC71AqZ8a2-3aKpD5dUS6pY_DtH7ErzQt1A&t=1&usg=__zJaUnXvzHbjX5UsLb4dZm-7Twzo= 

Well let's call this one diaper disaster! My daughter was invited to a birthday party yesterday, so I took her, and let my husband take care of our son for a few hours. It was kind of nice, to just be caring for Lujain, as she is older now, and it gave me time to socialize while just keeping a discreet eye on her from afar. She had a blast! Anyway, a couple of hours into the party, I get a frantic call from my husband, blabbering about something to do with the washroom. I was like slow down, whats wrong hon? He replied Mansour did number 2! And I calmly just said, well get to it, change his diaper, and he was like.. its not the hard one.. its kind of messy, and I was like, well go wash him, its a no brainer to me, rather simple. He gave up on me, and said, OK, let me go do something about it.

Anyway, after the party, my hubby and son came to pick me up, and my son looked rather good, and I was suprised my husband did a good job at getting him dressed and shoes back on in such a cool manner. He then admitted to me, that he called for his sister, and made her help him... he claims she only put on his socks and shoes . Later when I got home, his sister was laughing her head off, and telling me how my husband was screaming for her frantically as if something big happened. Only to see it was a simple diaper change issue.. my husband supposedly placed my son in the bath and spraid him down with the shower head . Now I am not sure what happened next, as my husband says he finished the diaper change, and only got his sister to put my sons socks and shoes on for him, but another little birdy told me differenttly.. lol






Nov 1, 2010

Banana Oat Muffins

I am a huge fan of banana cakes, muffins. I usually make this delicious banana cake in which 
I am pretty famous for in my circle of friends and family :) But I found this variation on it to 
be a perfect breakfast muffin. The texture is amazing, and it is filling in a not so guilty manner.
 
 
Banana oat muffins

1 1/2 cup all purpose flour
1 cup quaker oats
1/3 sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup milk
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 cup mashed banana
 
Topping
Cinnamon and powdered sugar
Preheat oven to 200 degrees Celsius
Combine flour, quaker, sugar , baking soda/powder, salt.
Beat eggs lightly. Stir in milk, oil, vanilla. 
Add mashed banana. Stir flour mix into banana mixture.
Line 12 muffin pans.
 
Bake 18-20 min
 
Allow to cool, and sprinkle with the powdered sugar 
and cinnamon.
 
Serve and Enjoy :) 
 
 
PS I got this recipe from allrecipes, but made some variations to it. 

Podge?

Well, I haven't gained, and I haven't lost either. After being soooooo bloody hopeful of losing this baby podge, who am I kidding? It's a whole lot more then mere podge. Anyway, I have gone and done it again, and my intense weight loss campaign will have to be on hold for a while longer. It's all good, I am blessed, but I fear what I will become :( Walking is still in the picture, the treadmill better come in the picture, or I will be an extremelty hormonal lady raging throughout this city I call home :)

Anyhoo, will keep y'all updated on what becomes of me in the next few months.

Take care :)
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