Mar 31, 2010

Maids and our children...

It's the norm here, a house without a maid is like a body without a head.

Those that chose not to have a maid are thought to be mad; why else would they refuse to have a maid that works for low pay as a maid, a nanny, a gardener, and a million other chores. I have witnessed on more then one occassion, a maid walking around the mall holding a newborn baby, while the mother is on a shopping spree. I guess she felt she could not trust the maid alone with the baby at home, and trusts her more out in a mall, right? Anyway, I have nothing against having a maid, I myself was taken care of by a nanny when I was younger while my mom was at work (first 5 years of my life), but mama was always around after work, she put us to sleep, gave us our baths, did everything for us the second she came home from work. But many people have taken it to a new level, where the maid is the acting-mother. It has occurred that some kids began calling their maids mama; I have my maternal uncles wife that sends her maids away after the 2 year contract for just that reason. She does not want her kids to get too attached to the maid, so 2 years is the limit, and they are replaced with the next one.

As you already know, my daughter was ill for the last week or so (I think it was a little less). While taking care of her, and her grumpy grouchy mood, there were times I was tempted to just slap her silly (I didn't do it of course.. but the thought did cross my mind I must sadly acknowledge). The thing is, I am her mother, ad those thoughts came in my head. I remember some times when she was a newborn and while my son when he was younger (a few months younger..lol)..and I just wanted to ignore him and GET.SOME.SLEEP, but of course I never did, I would get up, see to their needs, and then attempt to sleep before my next wake up call. Imagine a maid taking care of the kids throughout all this. Remember the maid has no real attachment or love for this kid, she is doing it for the money (how ever little we think it is, it is something to them). Would she care for my newborn the way I do? would she be patient with a sick toddler? or would she just smack her one (nobody is watching right?). Things like that freak me out. I have very little trust left in me after things I went through as a child (not at the hands of maids). I have one cousin who has recently admitted that a maid that we all LOVED used to beat the living day lights out of her when she was alone with her. She would smack her to eat, beat her to sleep, etc.

My ramblings here are, in a nutshell; how can you truly trust someone else with your child? How can you ever be sure that the person you are allowing to stay with your child is not neglecting them or even worst abusing them? I am not saying that I will never allow someone to babysit my child, but I just pray I never turn into a mother that allows the maid to take over her role wit her children.



I would like to add that I know not all of them are bad, there are some that actually DO care for your child, but how can one ever be sure?


Maid abuses child, caught on camera
Maid accused of abusing child

Very interesting blog post from 2:48am
Child getting abused by maid

Another Interesting article
What drives housemaids to abuse children?


Final Thoughts- I wish I could get my childhood nanny to come to me... she was great. I miss you Melanie <3

Mar 30, 2010

10 Fav Perfumes

I love perfumes, I love them! I really really love them! I now have about 80 bottles (I did some spring cleaning and gave some away to the maid). I love how some of them look, I love how they smell. I love spraying some on first thing in the morning. After I take a bath, before I go out. I spray some when i am feeling down and need a lift me up. I spray some on my pillow before I go to sleep. My daughter already has an interesting collection. My son is at about 4 so far, but my husband beats us all with well over a 150 bottles of th good stuff (yes.. he is a perfumaholic.. I wasn't so bad till I married him!!). Anyway today, I was goig through some of them, and thought I would make a post of my 10 favourite perfumes. There are some more I love, and give me memories everytime I spray them, but I thought I would try my very best to limit myself to just 10 (ok.. I added one from my purse and made it 11.. lol). I also known for mixing perfumes, I like to blend some of the Arabic Oud sents with the designer ones. There are some perfumes that myhusband has gotten made for me, but I don't know the names.. so they were not added, but I do LOVE them. I think Paris Gallery did them for us. I love the Micallef perfumes, but they are technically my husbands so I won't add them to my list either. Anyway, here are 10 of my favourite scents. BTW... I am rather picky with perfumes as well... I need to smell it fresh, and then walk around the mall with it. If by the end of my shopping trip, I still like it, then I go back and get it.

Not in any particular order...


Inside by Trussardi
J'adore by Christian Dior (my very first purchase of this wonderful scent was when it first came out, at the'Dior boutique @ Soutch Coast Plaza... I miss LA!!!)
Cascade by Chopard
Trouble by Boucheron
Palazzo by Fendi
24 Faubourg by hermes (Oldest in my list first got it when I was 16 I think.. and old strong scent)
Flowerbomb by Victor&rolf (Newest to my list but I am loving it.. yummy)
Gucci by Gucci
Aoud Queen Roses by Montale
Crystal Aoud by Montale
Black Orchid by Tom Ford (I got this one for my husband, but later liked it so much I told him it was rather feminine, and well I kept it :D so I now carry it in my purse, along with the D & G the ONE...)



Sadly... since my daughter is sick, and sleeping, I have more time to blog :P Update- She woke up and was happy to see the perfumes within reach, and made me spray her with them.. lol

BTW- Not at all happy with the iphone camera quality :(

I guess he DID enjoy it ;)

Firstly.. my baby girl is getting better by the day.. she is not 100% yet.. but I am hoping that she will be in the next couple of days!

This is a total random post. I was reading the gossip columns (yeah... I know its a waste of time... but every once in a while, I click on the links provided on the Windows live messengers 'Today'. Anyhoo, one of them caught my eye today... the one that said 'Ricky Martin comes out'. A hilarious memory came rushing back into my head... It was probably about 10 years ago, and I was downtown with one of my friends Bassam (where r u kiddo????). Anyway, there was a concert and autograph session at the HMV store at Yonge and Dundas (I am pretty sure thats what it was called.. correct me if I am wrong plss) with the one and th only  livin la vida loca KING (Yeah.. I LOVED that song... brings back sooo many memories). I think it must have been around June, because thats when Toronto has the Pride Parade. Anyway while he was up there, you could see these guys... The muscular that make women drool kind screaming... 'We Love you Rickyyy'. I remember laughing and thinking it was hilarious to see such manly looking homosexual guys screaming his name like a bunch of teenage girls obsessed and in love with a star. I remember many of the people in the crowd *myself included* looking at these weird obsessed guys thinking.. come on... grow up... and stop this ridiculousness... Ricky is Straight! Well I guess after 10 years.. I have been proven WRONG He does play for their team.

Mar 28, 2010

Sickness and weight loss...

My baby daughter had a high fever last night, and once we saw the over 40 number my husband rushed her to the hospital. I felt soo awful not going, but I understood that I needed to stay with my son, and not take him to the hospital where he could come in contact with illnesses his young self could not handle. She came home about 2 hours later with antibiotics and Ibuprofen. I hate seeing her so weak, 7ayatii... matshoofeen shar ya binti il ghaliyaaa...Allah yshfeeeha <3

It's been 6 months since i had my baby, and I have not lost any weight post partum, but gave actually GAINED weight. My issue here is that I am not eating anymore then I used to, I am breastfeeding... I am honestly NOT as active as I would like to be... but this weight gain is driving my crazy :( I am probably going to go to the doctors and get a checkup. To rule Thyroid issues out. My lst pregnancy I found myself with very high numbers and teh doctor was worried and told me I was right there on the border of officially having it or not. (4.99). Anyways, it won;'t hurt to get checked up, and I will probably need to start an active workout,k because I am truly NOT used to being this big, it is scaring me, and I am refusing any real shopping till I lose weight enshallah... hmmm... I do hope all goes well :)
Mar 26, 2010

No to Minor Marriages



No to Minor Marriages


I think that such marriages are wrong. These marriages sadly hit very close to home for me.

My grandmother at the age of 12 was forced to marry my 40 something year old grandfather (May he rest in peace) . I got tears in my eyes as she recalled her 'marriage'. She was NOT asked if she wanted to marry him. She was not even told that she was going to marry him. My great grand mother just told her to get ready as she would be carrying something heavy. My grandmother got scared and was wondering what this heavy thing was, that she was supposed to carry. She told me the day this happened she was happily playing outside her home in Makkah with her toys, and just having fun. She said that all of a sudden she remembers being taken to this older man, some celebrations happening, and then being sent off with him. She still did not understand what was happening, she said that it took her a long time to even get used to him, and that she used to hide under the covers from him while she cried herself to sleep. Sadly she was abused by him (I do not want to go into too much detail). But my grandmother was strong, and ran away from him, he kept her eldest child a son (May he rest in peace- he sadly passed away last year still thinking my grandmother did not love him like her other children), but she still had to run for her safety, and the safety of her newborn daughter. She got divorced form him and at 17 found a husband closer to her age, that showed her true happiness, and raised her daughter as his own. She had more children with him, and was happy until he passed away in the early 60's (May he rest in peace).

My Paternal grandfather was gifted a 9 year old to marry. He didn't marry her until she hit maturity'', but I still believe such actions are wrong.


In Islam, a bride no matter how old she is MUST consent to marriage. If this is a 9 year old, she obviously had no chance to convent, and has become a financial deal between her father and the man who would become her husband. I truly pray that these practices are stopped, and we allow our children to be children.

 


Mar 18, 2010

Whats on my mind...

I have several things on my mind right now, so lemme jot them down and maybe getting it on paper (OK.. on a computer screen) will help me sort them out

1) I was Om Lujain for the last few years, and now many people have automatically switched and started calling me Om Mansour. I love the ring of Om Lujain, and customs dictate that I shall be Om Mansour since I have my eldest son now. My husband was called Om Mansour long before I met him, so many people were already calling him that even when my daughter came... what do you think about this topic? Eldest Son Vs eldest child?

2) We are still living with my in-laws till we finish our new home completely, and plan on ordering oour maid once we know the official move date to our home. Lately I have been thinking, I would rather NOT have a live in Maid. But then again, its not even given a second thought here, everyone must have a maid. Whether its for her to clean, help cook, baby sit the kids, or whatever. But I really would like to have my home, remain my home. With no 'outsiders' among us. What do you suggest? Ignore my silly ideas of privacy and conform to the way people have it here, the way my parents had it, and they way everyone around me does it?

3) This is a funny one, but its a biggy! Blackberry or Iphone? I innitially wanted the blackberry to communicate with my blackberry using friends world-wide. But I reallly love how the iphone looks, and from what I read they are coming up with a new iphone 4G, and I am really falling in love. I have been an Ericsson girl for quite some time, and have a hard time leaving it, but I shall never fully leave it, as I have 3 phone numbers and one will always remain my trusty ericsson :) Whats your take on the phone battle? Iphone? or Blackberry? (and yes, yes, I know blackberry is CANADIAN, and that i should support it for that reason.. lol)

4) Going back to my new home, the home has 4 bedrooms, so one is pbviously mine, one is the guest room, and I am still debating on whether I should make one a play room and have my kids share (I favour this one), or if we give them each their own bedroom. I like the idea of them sharing, because I feel it will help in their bonding. My husband on the other hand is freaked out that my daughter is gonna hurt our new baby... (I know she is smarter then that, and would not hurt him on purpose)... what are your thoughts?

5) I have always been a hair colouor junkie, and have always either highlited my hair or coloured it. It has been 1 year 3 months since my last touch up. My hair Does look healthier, but I am kinda bored with my natural reallly dark hair colour. I wanna lighten it up just a bit, to make it a nice brown! Yet I want something that will look good with my complexion. Heck, I would love to get a full makeover done... I am n need of one, and have yet to get my full much needed pampering session post pregnancy. I think I will wait till I travel for that much needed Pampering time :) So.. do u think I should embrace my natural self, or lighten up my locks ?

6) should i keep typing or go to sleep :P Sleep has won this battle.. Good night from Riyadh All. God Bless <3



Mar 12, 2010

Illegal to drive Bumper Cars!

Today, I was given the shock of my life. I have always known and kinda accepted the sad reality that as a women I would not be allowed to drive in this Kingdom. But today, it hit an all time LOW!. I took my daughter to the play place in the Panorama Mall, and we were enjoying ourselves. My baby girl saw the bumper cars and wanted to go on them, so my husband told me to go with my daughter on the bumper cars. We lined up, with a bunch of little boys, and some fathers who wee accompanying their children. Once my daughter and I got to where they swipe your car, the man quickly looks at me shakes his head and says 'Mafi 7[H]areem', meaning No women! I was in shock, and said excuse me? He said 'Mamnoo3 7areem' Women are not allowed. My eyes opened wide in disbelief, and I was about to make a huge scene. I quickly asked if we were in the streets od Saudi, and why I as a women was not allowed to drive a bumper car, a bloody bumper car! He told me it was a rule from the 'mul7agiya', management! My husband asked me to please not make a scene, so I didn't. But inside me I was in tears, as a women, I was scene as incompetent of driving a bumper car, while a bunch a boys and men were allowed access freely. It was truly a saddening esxperience, and I am saddened that I will have to raise my daughter in a country where she will be seen as second rate because of the sex she was born as! This cultural bull shit has got to go! It needs to be changed! I plan on making an official complaint. I don't know what it will do, but it will make me feel better that I did not fall silent and accept this bullshit!

Source : http://www.blwebdesign.com/ATW/images/bumpercars.jpg


I will fully admit that I writing this post while I am extremely angry! I have not had the time to cool down, and still feel like I have been treated as a nobody! I will also make it a point that these idiotic rules have NOTHING to do with religion. So please no Islam bashing! This is purely an issue with men who want to control women through cultural rules that need to be 'retired'!



Mar 3, 2010

Toilet fun :)

My little girl has pretty much toilet trained herself, she tells us when she needs to use the washroom, and does this cute little dance when she has to go. ANyway, let me rewind for a sec here, when I was pregnant with my son, my husband promised that he would be a more hands on daddy, and would be taking care of Lujain when he was home after work, so that I could focus on baby Mansour. Ofcourse that never happened, because once I had Mansour, all diaper changes and feedings were left to me (I knew this would happen). His idea of taking care of our baby girl, os by SPOILING her to death.



I remember the first time I actually allowed (YES I had to give him  permission.. lol) to take my daughter out... they left me after i got her dressed up, gave him her water bottle (she can not survive without her water), and they headed out. It was an adorable site, her walking out hand in hand with her daddy. Anyway they were gone for a little over an hour, and I was very restless (I was still pregnant with Mansour). Anyway when they came home, her hands were full of toys (and her daddy was carrying some for her as well. They went to Toys'R'Us, and he bought her EVERYTHING she looked at. Till this day he does the same thing.. lol.. anyway going back to my title post. A few days ago, I was very busy with Mansour, and my daughter did her toilet dance, and my husband took her (I don't allow the maid to be too hands on with my kids- after all is said she isn't a nanny). I hear my baby girl saying mama poopoo, and my husband was like WHAT!!, and I was like she did number 2 clean her up! and he asks me... How am I supposed to clean THAT up?!?!?! I was like.. well get the water and wash her and then dry her with toilet paper (sounds pretty simple right). My husband picked her up and put her in the bath tub, and turned on the shower head and was spraying her all over like he was trying to disinfect her! LMAO! I was in shock, he really didn't know what to do, and he was SUPPOSED to be the one taking care of her.. remember! Anyway, I wish I took a pic or a video of it, it was truly a KODAK moment.. lol


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