Mar 31, 2010

Maids and our children...

It's the norm here, a house without a maid is like a body without a head.

Those that chose not to have a maid are thought to be mad; why else would they refuse to have a maid that works for low pay as a maid, a nanny, a gardener, and a million other chores. I have witnessed on more then one occassion, a maid walking around the mall holding a newborn baby, while the mother is on a shopping spree. I guess she felt she could not trust the maid alone with the baby at home, and trusts her more out in a mall, right? Anyway, I have nothing against having a maid, I myself was taken care of by a nanny when I was younger while my mom was at work (first 5 years of my life), but mama was always around after work, she put us to sleep, gave us our baths, did everything for us the second she came home from work. But many people have taken it to a new level, where the maid is the acting-mother. It has occurred that some kids began calling their maids mama; I have my maternal uncles wife that sends her maids away after the 2 year contract for just that reason. She does not want her kids to get too attached to the maid, so 2 years is the limit, and they are replaced with the next one.

As you already know, my daughter was ill for the last week or so (I think it was a little less). While taking care of her, and her grumpy grouchy mood, there were times I was tempted to just slap her silly (I didn't do it of course.. but the thought did cross my mind I must sadly acknowledge). The thing is, I am her mother, ad those thoughts came in my head. I remember some times when she was a newborn and while my son when he was younger (a few months younger..lol)..and I just wanted to ignore him and GET.SOME.SLEEP, but of course I never did, I would get up, see to their needs, and then attempt to sleep before my next wake up call. Imagine a maid taking care of the kids throughout all this. Remember the maid has no real attachment or love for this kid, she is doing it for the money (how ever little we think it is, it is something to them). Would she care for my newborn the way I do? would she be patient with a sick toddler? or would she just smack her one (nobody is watching right?). Things like that freak me out. I have very little trust left in me after things I went through as a child (not at the hands of maids). I have one cousin who has recently admitted that a maid that we all LOVED used to beat the living day lights out of her when she was alone with her. She would smack her to eat, beat her to sleep, etc.

My ramblings here are, in a nutshell; how can you truly trust someone else with your child? How can you ever be sure that the person you are allowing to stay with your child is not neglecting them or even worst abusing them? I am not saying that I will never allow someone to babysit my child, but I just pray I never turn into a mother that allows the maid to take over her role wit her children.



I would like to add that I know not all of them are bad, there are some that actually DO care for your child, but how can one ever be sure?


Maid abuses child, caught on camera
Maid accused of abusing child

Very interesting blog post from 2:48am
Child getting abused by maid

Another Interesting article
What drives housemaids to abuse children?


Final Thoughts- I wish I could get my childhood nanny to come to me... she was great. I miss you Melanie <3

5 comments:

  1. yea i agree. my best friends fiance was abbused by his nanny when he was 9. really sad. thank god he grew up to be a normal adn loving man.

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  2. Asalam Alaykum,

    I am really scared of things like this. I would never let a maid watch my son. I do not think I will ever get a maid but if I did it would be after we buy our home and if we have A LOT of kids. Until then I am fine. I am to nice so I am sure she would take advantage of that.

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  3. so true sis , here in the mideast i noticed, mums do leave everything to the maid some of them and its really sad because wel dont have a kid if you dont want to take care of them, and i dont know maid abuse is scary, i had a maid which i loved when we was younger and she was amazing we still keep in contact though shes not our maid, and has her own family now
    so not all are bad
    x
    naz

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  4. I totally agree with you, Om Lujain!
    Some people think that house maids can act like mothers...a few weeks ago I went with my family to McDonalds at AlTahlia Street and I was shocked to find out that my husband and I were the only mother and father with their children!
    there were many childeren of all ages with mobiles in their hands and were accompnaied by their maids and drivers!

    I am like you .. I am not against having a maid ..I have one myself, but she is never allowed to cook , wash the laundery , put my kids into bed, feed them, or bathe them..not even play with them...all what she does is cleaning the house and ironing the clothes...I don't even trust her to clean my bedroom when I am not around...
    Unfortunately, women don't know how to make use of the maids moderately...some have this disgusting attitude: "We are paying her so she should work all day and night to earn it!"
    Horrible!

    Thanks for this great post!
    Maha Noor Elahi
    www.saudirevelations.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete

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