A breath of fresh air....

I have always found that something comes upon me as soon as I leave Saudi. Whether it is crossing the border into neighbouring Bahrain. Or on an airplane leaving the country. I get this feeling of freedom. This feeling that I can truly be myself, and not worry about others looking, staring, and judging me for things that are first nature to me.
Don't get me wrong, I actually like living in Riyadh - lol.. yup I finally admitted it!. But I still can't help but feel this weight off my shoulders as soon as I leave the Kingdom. I remember 2 years ago while I was in Toronto. I was walking downtown with my younger brother, and I just sat there in awe. I was able to walk around, not worry about anybody judging me. Taking pictures of anything my heart desired! I kept telling my brother I was feeling amazing. He just looked at me like I was someone that was recently released from prison and finally getting their first breath of freedom. My friends to this day cannot believe that I am living in a country where I can not drive, where I really can't do anything I want to. I used to be the fun one, the one that truly loved to laugh, and enjoyed life to the fullest. My friends have said to me countless times that I am no longer that same carefree girl that left them 4 years ago. I have changed, maybe its for the better, maybe it isn't. I just miss having my social life. Here in Riyadh, I really don't. I go out with my husbands bestfriends wives. And as one can imagine, I can't be myself. I have to act 'Saudi'. I remember once I was sitting amongst many girls, and we were just talking about different subjects. Later on one of my husbands friends wife came to me and was like, 'dear, you should never talk about that subject.' I was kind of confused, as they were all talking about it, and I had just put in my two cents. So from there I have learnt to keep my mouth shut, and simply suck in whatever I want to say, and say whatever others want me to say (for the sake of my husband)... anyway, as one can imagine, I have chosen to stay away from most of the people i met, and keep to myself. I miss my old friends. I miss my old me. Sometimes I lash out at my husband and tell him that I have changed soo much for him, I have become a boring old lady.
I can just see my future; I will have my daughter telling me how un-cool I am.. lol
I NEED A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!!!!
I have added some pictures of Toronto! I miss it so!!!!
(I have more pictures to add, but I am having a very hard time adding them... so I will leave them for another time enshallah...)
Aug 18, 2008

Some Ramblings....

I have always missed my childhood. Nostalgic memories that always take me back to the past. I miss being the one that was taken care of. The one that needn't worry about what tomorrow would bring. I miss my carefree days, where the most important thing was to wake up early on a Saturday morning, and watch all my morning cartoons. I miss being pampered by my mother. I remember looking up at her as a little girl, and wondering when I would ever grow up like her. I remember seeing her reach the top cabinets and get me whatever i wanted. Mind you my mother is 5'4" and I have outgrown her to a towering 5'9". I miss our weekends at the British club in AD, munching on our club sandwiches and fries, topped off with a nice cooling ice-cream. I miss our days rollerskating (not blading) down the Corniche in our matching skates, eating our roasted nuts. I miss our trips to the guest house in RAK, I miss it all... I was searching online, and found one of my favourite childhood tales: Snow White and Rose Red... I am trying to find the DVD.. here I will leave you with a link to the story http://www.familymanagement.com/literacy/grimms/grimms122.html On other areas of life, i am trying to get ready for Ramadhan enshallah... I need to get the samboosa's done... (I like to make them early- as my hubby loves my spicy recipe :) , and pack them up in the freezer, so that I can pop them into the oven before maghreb everyday).. I will be traveling for a week or two, so far I am sure that a few days will be spent with my family, a few days will be spent in Bahrain and the rest... I am not so sure.. it will be a surprise... its our anniversary... and hubby wants to surprise me enshallah :) I will sign off now.. I am sorry for not posting lately.... as I have been busy in my own little la-la land... I will try my best to post soon enshallah...
Aug 10, 2008

8 Marriage Ruts: Are You In One?

Thought I would share this article... I haven't been up to blogging these days... so i thought I would just share this one... take care. 8 Marriage Ruts: Are You In One? Whether you've been married for three months or three years, here's how to get out of routines that hurt your relationship. By The Nest Editors Rut #1: Watching TV During Dinner Why it's bad: Having dinner together offers valuable face time with your partner. Turning on the tube competes for attention and cuts in on your time to catch up and connect after so many hours spent apart. How to stop: Set aside 30 to 45 minutes of one-on-one talk time with the TV off every night. This shows your spouse that when you're not at work, you're devoted to your home and family. During this time, ignore your phone and leave the BlackBerry in another room. You'll feel closer within days. Rut #2: Going Too Long Without Sex Why it's bad: If the amount of sex you're used to having starts to slide, your body and brain can get used to the decreased intimacy, causing you to go even longer without wanting that closeness. How to stop: Don't wait until you feel like doing it. Initiate sex when you're open to doing it, rather than when you have the desire. This will jump-start your feelings so you'll crave it more often. Rut #3: Going a Whole Workday Without Talking to Your Sweetheart Why it's bad: You'll start growing apart emotionally after subconsciously feeling like the other person doesn't think about you (and your needs) during the day. How to stop: Initiate daily contact by sending a quick "How's your day?" email. And make the effort to do something nice every day (pick up his fave dessert, call from the store to see if she needs something). It shows forethought and consideration for your partner's needs. Rut #4: Tuning Each Other Out Why it's bad: You're disengaging from each other. How to stop: Make an effort to do small things such as kissing before saying good-bye, making eye contact when talking, and complimenting each other frequently throughout the week. Does he not seem to hear you talking during certain times (ahem, when ESPN is on)? Don't try to make conversation while the TV is on. If it's important, press mute; otherwise, save conversations for dinner or your bedroom, where you're less likely to be interrupted. Rut #5: Not Fighting Why it's bad: Disagreements are good in a marriage because you're expressing your individuality. Talking about issues when they first happen makes them easier to fix than if you wait until after they've festered. How to stop: Bring up what's on your mind in a way that shows your admiration and respect for each other's thoughts and feelings. Like, "It hurts my feelings when ______. I was hoping we could figure out a new way to handle the situation together." This will set the tone of the conversation as loving and calm, but you both have to compromise to keep it that way. Rut #6: Going out More with Friends Than with Your Spouse Why it's bad: It sends the message that your friends are more worthy of your time. How to stop: Schedule nights out with your crew a few times a month, but make sure to let your partner know in advance. It's important to have these friendships as long as they don't make your married time sparse. And it's always best that these friends are people your partner knows and trusts, so there's less reason to worry. Rut #7: Being Too Close Why it's bad: As much as you think burping, scratching, picking, or farting is funny or cute, it can backfire and cross the line. It may be a reflection of your closeness, but there should be a limit. Otherwise, you're leaving your partner with a very unsexy image of you. How to stop: Start a new rule. If you wouldn't do it in front of your work friends, don't do it in front of your honey. To get your mate to refrain, say: "I know we're close, and we can share everything, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave the room, or leave me out, when you do that. It's not very sexy, and I don't want anything that makes you less sexy to me." Rut #8: Sharing Too Much with Your Parents or In-laws Why it's bad: This shows a lack of loyalty to your spouse. Your parents shouldn't have any information that your spouse doesn't have. And they shouldn't know anything he wouldn't want them to know. How to stop: Be loyal to your spouse even when she's not present. If you wouldn't say something in front of her, don't say it at all. You would want the same in return. [Nestpert] Dr. Susan Fletcher is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the author of Parenting in the Smart Zone
Aug 4, 2008

5 Places I want to Visit...

I am truly in the travelling mood... so perhaps if I put the places I would love to visit on my blog, it can give some kind of hint to my dear hubby.. :) I have tons of places I would love to go visit... but I will make my list short and simple... in a few weeks I will probably have a new list of places I would like to visit... :)
So here it goes... I will list 5 places I would like to go to (That I have never been to before)
1) Marbella (Spain)
2) Mauritius
3) Austria
4) Queensland (The Golden Coast)
5) Hawaii
Where would you like to go, if you could be anywhere in the world?
Aug 2, 2008

Reflection time...

As Ramadhan quickly appraoches, I know many things will be changing. We will be sleeping through the day, and bustling through the night. It will be a month when all evil is set away, and a time when prayers and self refection will occur. We shall pray to Allah SWT, and pray for our loved ones. We shall pray for world peace, and pray for good in all arena's of life.
If you are in the middle east, it will probably be a time when you're days will be filled with watching Special Ramadhan Soap Operas, comedy flicks, and just plain jargon. I remember how weird it felt my first Ramadhan here after getting married. I would have figured that people would break their fast, and then get ready to pray Tarawee7. What I saw was different. Families would break their fast with WAY TOO MUCH FOOD!!!!, and then move on to tea, coffee, and sweats and plant themselves in front of the television. They would watch Khaleeji, Egyption, or Shami musalsals. There was no time for reflection, as people were busy and glued to their television. 4 years later, I find myself on that very same schedule. I don't think I can handle anymore of those VIMTO commercials!!!!! It's truly sad, when we have the chance to truly pray to our creator, and instead we chose to sit in front of the television instead of opening ones Quran, and reading the versus, instead of going to tarawee7 or qiyam (last ten days) prayers... I find we had more religion in Toronto...
This year, I want to try something different, I will not make any promises, but I will try to cut down on my TV time, and increase my Quran time. I want to try to make it to as many Tarawee7 prayers as possible, and if it is not possible for me, that I perform those prayers at home. I want to reflect upon myself, my life, my surroundings. I want my baby girl to feel the true essence of Ramadhan.
And since i am on my changes.. I would like to add a few more...
1) I want to seriously cut down on my soda habit! I drink Diet crap... Pepsi Max is my main drink, but I seriously need to stop it. I have started drinking one daily! and its a sick habit. I stopped drinking all sodas for 2-3 years prior to coming to Saudi, and was quite healthy... not this once a day habit is getting the best of me... Soooo.. hopefully I will be able to say Good-bye to the Soda habit!
Healthy Weight Loss (© Photographer: Sandra Gligorijevic Agency: Dreamstime.com
2) I want to eat healthier foods, I always have fruits around me, but I must admit that I no longer eat it like I should, I might eat one apple every few days.. and its not good for me. I want to add more veggies to my diet (and I actually love veggies!) ...I need to also remember to take my vitamins and try to do some sort of detox to get rid of the destruction caused by my bad Pepsi Max habit!
3) I need to start working out, even if I can't hit the gym, I want to do something, maybe its about time I finally fix the gym at home, and get some new equipment brought in!
4) I want to focus more on my daughter eating habits. I want to start planning out her meals a week in advance, and want it to have all the food groups she needs to grow up as a healthy little baby girl enshallah.
5) I need to give myself a little more me time, I need to get to the spa, get mani's and pedis' more... a facial is definitely needed, and all over pampering myself, even if its once every 2 weeks.
6) I need to start researching on Masters programs that I can do from Saudi Arabia. I feel the need to pursue my higher education, and will have to work on actually getting there...
I know there are more... but I will stop for now.. ad my brain can't think of anymore.
K... I am done...
Ciao 4 now!
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