Don't get me wrong, I actually like living in Riyadh - lol.. yup I finally admitted it!. But I still can't help but feel this weight off my shoulders as soon as I leave the Kingdom. I remember 2 years ago while I was in Toronto. I was walking downtown with my younger brother, and I just sat there in awe. I was able to walk around, not worry about anybody judging me. Taking pictures of anything my heart desired! I kept telling my brother I was feeling amazing. He just looked at me like I was someone that was recently released from prison and finally getting their first breath of freedom. My friends to this day cannot believe that I am living in a country where I can not drive, where I really can't do anything I want to. I used to be the fun one, the one that truly loved to laugh, and enjoyed life to the fullest. My friends have said to me countless times that I am no longer that same carefree girl that left them 4 years ago. I have changed, maybe its for the better, maybe it isn't. I just miss having my social life. Here in Riyadh, I really don't. I go out with my husbands bestfriends wives. And as one can imagine, I can't be myself. I have to act 'Saudi'. I remember once I was sitting amongst many girls, and we were just talking about different subjects. Later on one of my husbands friends wife came to me and was like, 'dear, you should never talk about that subject.' I was kind of confused, as they were all talking about it, and I had just put in my two cents. So from there I have learnt to keep my mouth shut, and simply suck in whatever I want to say, and say whatever others want me to say (for the sake of my husband)... anyway, as one can imagine, I have chosen to stay away from most of the people i met, and keep to myself. I miss my old friends. I miss my old me. Sometimes I lash out at my husband and tell him that I have changed soo much for him, I have become a boring old lady.
I can just see my future; I will have my daughter telling me how un-cool I am.. lol
I NEED A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!!!!
I have added some pictures of Toronto! I miss it so!!!!
(I have more pictures to add, but I am having a very hard time adding them... so I will leave them for another time enshallah...)