Jul 16, 2008

What is the right way to give advice?

Please Note: This is not in anyway a post bashing anyone. I for one actually love being told right from wrong, but its simply the way it is done that makes the difference. As for religious Police, I am probably one of the few people left who actually want them to remain here in Saudi. I truly get scared of the idea of not having them around, as I believe things here will get out of hand. Maybe they need to tone down a bit, but nevertheless they are an important part of 'policing' the streets of Saudi. I have had several dealings with people trying to give me da3wa. I personally appreciate it when people remind me of Allah SWT, and my reason on this earth. But I must add that I also liek to be treated with a bit of dignity, and respect, and HATE when I am spoken down to. Lets face it, there is a way to tell people things, whether it is a religious issue, or any other issue that arises. I will obviously be defensive if someone comes at me with a dagger and talks to me like a little child that does not know better! One of my experiences was this one time when I was in Maghrabi, picking up my new contact lenses, and my husband was waiting in the car. Since I am living in Riyadh, I do wear a 3baya, and a shayla on my head- ok maybe some hair slips out once in a while. Anyway as I was standing in front of the cash register this man comes next to me, and starts lecturing me. He starts by telling me that 'you woman are the reason why there are so many woman in hell', he then goes on to tell me, and the way you are dressed is against Islam, and ... and ... and..' I can't remember his exact words (He obviously said them in Arabic.' I felt rather shaken, and was annoyed, and went back to the car and waited for my husband to drive out of the parking lot before I let him know what happened. He hit the roof, and was sooo angry he was ready to go back and give the man is 2 cents. I talked him out of it, and told him to be honest if we went on a fighting spree with everyone who went on like this, the war would be a long one.. lol A second experience here in a mall was while I was in a shop, buying something, and a little girl (she was about 5 or 6) comes to me, and I immediately thought she was those little girls that beg for money, so I was ready to reach into my purse and give her something, but before I dd, she says to me' you know it is better for you to wear 3bayatel ras - the 3baya that is worn from the top of the head. It was adorable at first, then I noticed some ladies that were staring at us with these looks in their eyes, and she went back to join them! These ladies sent over a little girl to come and tell me to wear my 3baya a certain way. hmmm.. Interesting eh! A third experience was once whilst in Rashid Mall In Shargiya. I was walking through the mall, and this lady gives me this dirty look, and says something along the lines of I should cover my face as I am drawing attention to myself. MEANWHILE she had her daughter lagging behind her walking through the mall, and I kid you not.. HER DAUGHTER was giving flirty looks to some guys that were walking near by.. Wake up lady... clean up your own home before you attempt to 'fix' other folks... As the old saying goes, DON'T THROW ROCKS WHEN YOU LIVE IN A GLASS HOME!!!! Anyway, I have had tons of experiences.. and to be perfectly honest and fair, I have had good experiences with people here trying to give me nasee7a... i truly appreciated it from them. And they will always be remembered, as they were truly doing what they felt was mandatory upon them, and did it the right way.. 'Allah ykhaleehum'


  1. Some people have "adab" and some simply don't no matter how much they try. I think if you are a decent person, you are a decent person even in the most challenging situations, and if you are crap, you are simply crap period!! I believe it is who you are naturally. It is your essence. You don't wake up one day and say, "I want to be decent"!! OR "I want to be crap"......One can be either/or but you can not be both.

    Because if you really look at it, and this is just an example, there are criminals out there who are actually decent and there are normal everyday civilians who are your worst night mare.........

  2. i absolutely agree with u manal!


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