Jun 29, 2008
Sitting down, staring into the walls... Wondering where my life will lead me. Will this be my future? will happier more brighter days ever come? I must always remember to thank Allah for all he has given me, he has granted me a wonderful little baby girl, whom I adore with all my heart. At times I try to remember life before her, and its all a blur. She brought true happiness to my life. And for her I want to build a secure home, a home she can be happy in, can wake up to in the morning with a smile on her face. This home isn't it. Yes its large, its very very large, yet its not home to me, and will most probably never be a home to my daughter. I feel like a guest after 4 years living here, I still no not feel that sigh of relief that I am 'home' after being away for a long time. I need that security, I need that happiness. For all you girls out there, please promise me that you will NEVER live in ur husbands family home. Not even if he claims it will be for only 6 months, for 1 day is too long. I pray for my release from this jail I have accepted for far too long. I was watching Army wives for the last 24 hours... finished the first season, and 2 episodes from the new season.. It had me in tears, it had me smiling, it has me thinking. What would I ever do without tv shows? I would truly be stuck in this non existent ghost home with no outlet to the outside world. And for that I must thank God for that outlet to the world, for my sanity, and my semi-mediocre existence.